This week Nicky – completely by accident – hit me in the eye and I have a black eye.
If this happened with my daughter, I would be find. Because it’s Nick and it’s aggression - which is his E ticket out of society - I’m so upset. I wish I wasn’t, because it WAS an accident, but I am. for two days I've been asking myself why? Why am I so upset? And I finally got it. I’m upset because I’m afraid. Afraid if he’s aggressive at school, in a park, anywhere but here at home other people will not be so understanding or forgiving. He won’t get the same benefit of the doubt given a typical person. I’m afraid as I “imagine” what could happen to him. How do I protect him. This spiral is going nowhere. I have to tell myself to stop.